If there is one thing I want to remember and constantly be reminded of, it is that.
I am already defined.
I carry it within. Who I am and how much I’m worth doesn’t come from the outside world.
It’s not up to my job, social status, partner, possessions or fame to tell my story.
It’s not what I have that defines me.
It’s the way I define myself.
In the words of Fall Out Boy in Save RockNRoll: “You are what you love, not who loves you.”
I am already defined as a human being worthy of love. Whether I belive that is entirely up to me, but it is useful to remember it.
So much depends on that definition. On the way I see myself. In fact, my whole life does.
I’m not saying believing you are a superhero is the cure to everything. That’s not how things work. But having faith that you are worthy, even if you are not observing evidence of it right now, does take away some of the load.
Makes it easier to relax with yourself, makes it easier to be yourself.
And one gigantic disclaimer here. You are already defined doesn’t mean you can’t redefine yourself. No, not at all.
It is just a gentle reminder that even if you never get the stuff people are “supposed” to have or if you have them and lose them, you don’t lose your worth. It is already there, it is always there.
So if your definition feels off, go ahead and challenge it until it feels good. Don’t let it get you stuck. Don’t think “hey, I’ve already been defined as this unlucky person/loser etc., so this is what awaits me for the rest of my life”
It is your definition for a reason. Because it is the definition of you by you. If you are an advocate of it, the people around you and life itself will follow suit shortly.
Define and redefine yourself as much as you need and do it often if that helps. It’s not easy to strike the right cord from the get go. It needs tuning in, it needs time.
And that time might be months, might be years and it is okay. As long as you feel you are getting closer, you are on track.
Oh, and one last wavier. As much as definitions are important and make us get a better grasp of everything around us, we should not get lost into that.
The map is not the teritory.
The best map will be produced if you go explore the teritory in real life.
Same goes for the definition. The best one will come out of you just going and living life.
And yes, you are not and cannot be defined by a single definition.
But if it has to be one and you have to start somewhere, make it this.
You are already defined as worthy.