I guess I wouldn’t be wrong if I said most people’s definition of happiness would be something along the lines of “life always goes the way I want it to”. All of us want things from life, and most of us definitely want to get them. But not many do, do they?
Well, here’s the thing. We are human and it seems we are wired for wanting. It’s not like we get what we wanted and we stop wanting. Maybe we do, but just for a little while. And then we hop off to the next thing we want. And the next. And the next.
We tend to want the things we don’t have but others do. Even if they are not better objectively. We have curly hair, we want straight. We have brown eyes, we want blue. We have a nice house but the neighbours have nicer. The grass is always greener on the other side.
So then, if we applied this logic to what we tend to want from life, would we still want it if we had it?
To put this even simpler, would we be happy if we were always getting everything we wanted?
My wild guess is no.
Then we would probably want for once things not to go our way cause they always do and it’s boring. We would want some variety. Some adventure.
And these are things we want now too. We appreciate the extraordinary. We love surprises. We aim for out of the box.
So why then would we want to live a life so predictable? Where would be the thrill of living, if we knew whatever we imagined would eventually land in our lap?
I see this like a relationship and the way we choose partners. I think most of us wouldn’t be truly happy with a significant other who always does what we say and never challenges us and surprises us. We like them to be their own person with their own opinions and life.
Because, in the end, this is what makes relationships worthwhile. They give us the opportunity to grow by showing us new sides to ourselves and, oftentimes, new sides to life too. If the other person always did what we do, had the same hobbies and never proposed something new, we would not only get bored but also never discover new exciting opportunities.
It is true relationships can be a bit too challenging at times. We have to compromise. And we have to compromise a lot.
But we do it for the person we love.
Then why not love life and compromise for it every now and then too?
Definitely not all the time. Some things we want too much to give up on. But there are others we can compromise on.
Life actually does that all the time. Maybe it had another grand plan in mind, but it notices our efforts and compromises and gives us a chance.
So isn’t that a life worth living?
Isn’t that a life worth loving?